My balls are so social today.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
