is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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