Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
