Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
