she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
