I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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