Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So apparently I’m into choking now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
