I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
