We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
