he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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