we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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