I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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