Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
