I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
