just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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