He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
