names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
