dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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