my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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