I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
