make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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