On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
