Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
