just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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