Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
