god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Houston, we have a squirter
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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