I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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