Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
