Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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