i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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