is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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