I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
