it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
