Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
