problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
