I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
