i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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