Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
