Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
