I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
