Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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