what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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