margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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