John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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