Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
