I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
