dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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