You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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