i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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