best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
