woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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