she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
