I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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