I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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