were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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