Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
should my penis look like a turkey
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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