did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize