Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
