i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
