what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Randomize
