She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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